McPhailure with a capital "O"! ( And say it with Baltimore Accent.)

I swore when I started writing I would never be a homer. I never wanted to let my true feelings on "my" sports teams come through in composition or blog posts. 

But I decided to break my rule. Not so much because my team is deserving of an recognition; it is actually the exact opposite.

You see...I am a life long Baltimore Orioles fan. Stop right there with the sympathy. I made my bed long ago. I could have jumped ship for the Red Sox years ago. (I could claim my father's uncle's cousin was a die hard fan and so am I...just like every out of the wood work fan of the mid-2000s) But I stuck with Orange and Black the whole way through. So this article works under the premise that I am very proud the Orioles got national recognition the other night by David Letterman.

Midway into his monologue Letterman joked that "Lady Gaga is going from ball park to ball park making a fool of herself, just like the Orioles." Even Dave couldn't get the line out without laughing. Its PATHETIC. And I'm not mad at Dave. He's right. I am proud of one thing: After 12 straight losing seasons, the Orioles found a way to actually get worse. (you could cut the sarcasm here with a butter knife.)           


After years of the futile Syd Thrift regime, the Orioles brought in the two headed monster (literally) of Mike Flanagan and Jim Beattie. When that failed, the Orioles brought in an actual effective G.M., Andy McPhail... or so we thought. Before McPhail, the only drafted pitching prospect to stay on the roster over 10 seasons was Jim Johnson. (And he's in Triple A Norfolk, currently.) Think of all the pitchers they drafted over that time?! Its near 50!!!!

So McPhail comes in. The emphasis is on developing young pitching. Good. And they go out and get it. They draft some of the youngest, best arms, and hope they will develop. We as a fan base are told to be patient, but that progress is happening. Around year three that's when we should notice improvement...


Fast Forward to Year 3: It is late June and they have not won even 20 games. Several of their young arms have succeeded and then subsequently failed and gone back down to the minors. Their key free agent pick ups did not pan out. It would be one thing for Garrett Atkins to not hit; you cut him. But Mike Gonzales, that is unacceptable. Not only can he not pitch, but he cost the team a 2nd round pick this year. A top high round pick. The season begins to go bad and then spirals out of control. They lose game after game. The young bats of Weiters, Jones, and Reimold go backwards in development. It is a disaster. But there is a silver lining.


For the first time in years the national media is constantly reporting on the Orioles. Their roster moves are constantly examined and everyone wants to find a way to solve the Camden Catastrophe. So the Orioles are back on the map, so to speak. But the biggest break through comes when you are futile enough to become the butt of a joke. 

Thank you David Letterman for making the Orioles at the least... humorous. I am a fan; and no one laughed harder than me. Except maybe Andy McPhail. I hear he might have a sense of humor. He has to...right?