AFC West: Repeat Offenders

The Pick: San Diego Chargers. again.
Why?!!?: Heres why, since 2006 only one team has won the AFC West. Regardless of the coach, the Chargers come out on top. I'd like to say that this was thanks to LaDanian Tomlinson, but thats not the case. Since 2006, the man making the constant difference in San Diego is Billy Volek...'s starter Philip Rivers. River's continues to lead the Chargers even in the absence of LT and Vincent Jackson. So they lost to the Chiefs and so what if Marcus McNeil is holding out. Rivers will continue to operate at a high level and lets be fair, which team has the fire power to compete with the Chargers down the stretch? None. A resurgent defense and the powerful Antonio Gates, yeah they'll be fine. Winners of the AFC though? Nah...keep looking. Chargers win the division, but not the conference.
Runner up: Kansas City Chiefs; in a surprise move the Patriots Mid West start to resemble their blue print.
Not in the Basement: Broncos. Tebow era can't come soon enough.
Cellar Dwellar: Surprise Al Davis continues to rent from the basement.

Al Being Al...

NFC South: Saints still on top, Bucs still on bottom

                                     

                                                      NFC South

I will spare everyone a long drawn out explanation for the NFC South. The Saints are just better.  Coming off a super bowl win, Brees is the second best quarterback in the league and may be about to become the best.  I don’t think he or Sean- “look at me I do look kind of weird which pairs me well with my quarterback who has a birthmark that look more like a phantom of the opera mask than a birthmark”-Payton will let them do that....  

 I do think that their defense is a little bit weaker but it wouldn’t surprise me to see them rough shot through most of the league again.  On a side note, I think Reggie Bush is motivated

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and will do some big things this year, hence my over-acquiring him in my fantasy league.  For the order that they finish, Saints, Falcons, Panthers ( I think they would have better luck if they were named the Carolina Cougars, but then they would probably have to make a "Real Housewives of Charlottesville), and then the Bucs (does anyone realize they got rid of Tony Dungy who went onto win a super bowl, then ruined John Gruden’s career (who is one of the most knowledgeable football minds right now) and rid of him only to hire…Raheem Morris. That is more perplexing to me, than the Norv Turner hire in San Diego.

-Gordo

Saints waiting room, remember those days?

'Packin' the NFC North: Sorry Brett Favuruh...

            Ok, lets make this easy...

First of all lets get rid of the animal mascots and we can chalk it up to global warming.  Here is what I know: the Lions have gotten better, they are closing the gap, AND they still aren’t great and still won’t win.  The Bears are the Bears and even if you put the Packers or the Vikings in Bears Jerseys they would lose, because they are the Bears and that’s how it works. 

Simply put, Jay Cutler, big arm quarterbacks don’t succeed in the NFL (see: JRussel, Kyle SuperBoller, Rex Grossman) especially if they have a bad attitude (see: the above list). 

            Now that the obvious is out of the way, the question turns to can Favre repeat and have his former Packers improved enough on defense and the offensive line?  

Towards the end of the year the Packers showed that the O line was improving and with a healthy group coming back...wooooooo.  Logic dictates that Favre is going to decline. If he came back on his own they would be better, but the fact that his team mates came to get him will make him feel like he has Cart’e Blanche to be himself and throw picks.  In addition the loss of Chester Taylor is going to cost them more than they know, All Day can’t do that in the NFL the way he plays. 

My prediction: Packers, Vikings, Lions (what the hell), and Da Bears (may Ditka have mercy on my soul)

-Gordo

Bone Pickin' with Gordo: Big Ben's VY Problem

  

I know I am supposed to write division pics, but I heard about this today and I couldn't stand it, I had to write something:

                                           Ben Roethlisberger

           

            Ok, I want to settle this ABSURD debate.  I have had enough of putting Ben Roethlisberger in the realm of elite quarterback.  There are three elite quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Tom “pretty boy”/ half man/ half model/ half quarterback, and Drew Brees (who may be on the verge becoming the best in the game right now). That’s it, if you try and put another name in, you deserve to be punched in the mouth and shit out teeth for a week. 

You know who is the same as Roethlisberger… Vince Young.    Lets draw some comparisons: as far as their pure passing numbers and ability go, they can throw the ball well, but they are never going to put up numbers consistently that blow you away.  Second, they are both super immature but apparently “trying really hard.” Whether they don’t understand that no means no, or that when you are depressed and you run off with a gun and don’t tell anyone people are going to think that you are going to kill yourself, they both don’t get it.   

Third, they both win, the reason why is simple: they have great running games and keep plays alive.  The only difference is that when Young keeps a play alive its because he scrambles and when Roethlisberger does it, its because he is fat. 

  He is simply Dante Culpeper but with better teams (tell me how my UFL tastes).  Here is the deal: if you want to tell me that Roethlisberger is an elite quarterback because at the end of the day he wins, then u have to put Vince Young in that category to, he wins 2/3s of his games.  So if you want to put VY that category you first need to have your brain examined, and then get a second opinion.  If they can’t find anything wrong, throw yourself down the stairs so that you have an excuse so then I won’t blame you.

-Gordo

Gordo is one of our frequent contributors. Known for his rantings that seem (and often are illogical) so in our benevolence we decided to give him a column so he didn't kill someone

also his ravings are generally angry and hilarious. Bone Pickin' with Gordo will be featured whenever he feels the urge.