All this McNabb Trade Talk Makes Me Sick!

Thats right Philadelphia I'm getting sick of you and I hope Donovan McNabb is too. In the recent past all of McNabb's off season story lines focus on him moving; and every year Philly fans sound happy as clams about the possibility of him moving. In Baltimore they would love to have a QB who routinely goes to NFC Championship despite a sub par receiving corps. (First it was the QB, then the WRs, now will it be Flacco as the problem?) But no! I won't stand for it! He is a 6 time pro bowler. He has been to one super bowl and 5 NFC Championships. He has a career passer rating of 86.5; incredibly solid. He is one of the toughest quarterbacks in the league; and every time he gets hurt the fans of Philly cheer and hope that it leads to a new QB coming to power in the city of *ahem Brotherly Love. Awful. Koy Detmer, A.J. Feeley, Jeff Garcia, and now Kevin Kolb.

Yes lets look at the career of Kevin Kolb. Three years. 4 TDs, 7 ints; including one of the most embarassing interceptions against the Ravens in 2008. When Ed Reed returned the pick for a td and a league record in return yardage out of his own end zone. Kolb filled in to a decent extent last season, but he doesnt have the confidence or football intelligence to have the instant impact of a Aaron Rodgers or Philip Rivers when they supplanted solid Pro-Bowlers. His two wins last year were against the Chiefs and Panthers; hardly the powerhouses he will face in the NFC East.

But this is what Philly does. Remove solid veterans before they begin to play their days away in squalor. It could be a smart move if the Eagles can get decent value for McNabb. But, McNabb is only 33 and has several good seasons left in him. Would Jeremy Maclin, Brent Celek, and DeSean Jackson have had such a powerful impact if they hadn't had a top tier QB delivering the ball on the money to give them confidence? Who knows? Maybe McNabb will go to Oakland and resurrect Darrius Heyward-Bey. A Terp can dream can't he?

Rumor has it the Raiders offered Nnamdi Asomugha straight up for McNabb. Word. I would take that trade right away and look Al Davis in the eye and say "No Trade backs!" As much as I love Donovan, I love Nnamdi more. Still come on Philly give the hero credit. Rip down your crappy statue of a fictional hero Rocky and put one up of the Chunky Hero Donovan McNabb and a small accompanying statue of his mom.

The Blind Side...of the NHL

 The NHL continues to move forward as the most progressive of the 4 major professional sports with a new rule change today. The new Rule implemented today will punish any "lateral, back-pressure or blindside hit to an opponent where the head is targeted and/or the principal point of contact." Kudos to the Mullet draped owners for implmenting it now in the middle of the season, as soon as it became a very evident problem bam! They were on it. The NHL wants to turn out the best product and seems dedicated to it; other sports (ahem: football) wait till the offseason to try and fix the oddities of the NFL...overtime...and baseball seems to wait till the playoffs to implement new exciting technology...and the NBA is just lost to me....MLS isn't real....

The move is very controversial, but definitly a necessary change to look out for the safety of the NHL players. With all the current controversey surrounding NFL concussions, the rule change shows a progressive movement towards protecting their athletes heads.

Unlike the NFL QB protection rules, this move does not take any of the bad assness out of hockey. It may simply save a few lives and who benefits when hockey players live to play another day? The owners. So a good move for both sides. Owners get their money, players get their heads. But, drunken mulleted-coifed Canadians will complain; because no one is tougher than a Canadian...

Either way this year the NHL continues to showcase how it is number 3 of the four major sports and possibly moving past MLB at some point. Well maybe not, our national past time will always have a place in our hearts; but hockey...lord hockey is exciting. No more Ties, Shootouts. No whiny players demanding more money, badass athletes who get hit by cars and play that night. And to be honest HDTV makes it easier to see the puck. So maybe the NHL should just thank High Definition television. Either way its nice to know the players will get to go home, watch the puck go back and forth, and not have their heads roll off.

Drop the Puck!
-Matt

(Big) Upsets Continue...A Lesson in Futility

T

First and Second round misfires continued for me all weekend. Once again I found new ways to screw up a bracket. Some of my picks were just misfires. I.e: Texas v. Wake Forest: I just have no faith in the ACC, but the seeds were too close so its not an upset. Same with picking UNLV over Northern Iowa. But some other picks left me scratching my head. Clearly someone in the NCAA world enjoys screwing with me. All number 1 seeds made it last year, this year who knows.
So heres the breakdown/analysis. (It helps if when you read my analysis you pronounce it ANAL- Lie-sis) You really get the feel for how the NCAA bent me over

GAME: 7 Clemson v. 10 Missouri
The Pick: Clemson
Winner: Missouri
My reason:  In a real Tiger on Tiger action of a game, I went with Oliver Purnell's raging team led by Trevor Booker. Like Booker T. himself (the wrestler) I expected the Tigers to put the midwest Tigers in a stranglehold and then give them a "People's elbow" to the throat; then move amicably to the 2nd round.
What Went Wrong: Booker T. Washington was eventually over taken by W.E.B. Dubois's rhetoric. More people liked W.E.B.'s message and here we see another Booker failing to deliver to the promised land. also Clemson's color choice "Purple"= pussyish. Real tigers are closer to Missouri's colors. When these two mascots met in the open plains of Africa the Yellow Tiger pounced on the Purple Tiger while he "presented." Brutal.

GAME: 3 Georgetown vs. 14 Ohio
the Pick: George-fucking-town.
Winner: Ohio.......what?!
My Reason: Dammit its Georgetown, they are a real team from a real conference. I dont even wanna make up an excuse here. You just win. That's what you do. Your from the goddam Big East. There is nothing humorous about this. You went to the Big East Championship. No offense Ohio, but the best team you played all year was Buffalo and then you lost to them the next time you played.
What Went Wrong: everything. There are holes in my goddam wall because of this game. You ruined my bracket G-Town. You and your overly pretentious students can go swimming with cinder-blocks in the Potomac for all I care. Yeas you are a high rated university, but stop importing asians and we will see who is the real college. Im so mad right now I need to take a break and calm down. Shit i had you Jagaloons going to the elite eight and you should have. JAG-A-LOONS! thats right dammit..I need a drink....

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2 hours later.
After watching Kansas lose to Northern Iowa I have decided the relevance of this particular post has lost meaning. Georgetown is the least of my hatred right now. Kansas you smarmy mother-f'ers how could you lose to Northern IOWA. Not IOWA or IOWA State!!!!! I quit. The most famous athletic Alumni of N. Iowa is Kurt Warner...mull that over. Let that marinate Bill Self while you and the Jay-off Hawks ride back to Lawrence to the James Naismith Hall!!!! Do you realize he founded basketball? Did it not occur to you that it would be an embarrassment for you to lose to the Northern Iowa grocery boys?!?! Who gives a shit what their mascot is at this point. You are an embarrassment..
Rant over
whew I need a few more drinks to let this marinate. Ill  be back with more ANALysis later this week. Cheers
-Matt

Bracket Busted...

Already one night into March Madness and my bracket is done. I never claimed to be a Bracket guru or idiot savant, but I always expect to do better than I do on the first night. The law of averages demands that I do better. Yet year in and out I try every different strategy to win and none work. I have done an upset bracket, a favorites bracket, mascot bracket (who would win in an actual fight), and random bracket. Nothing...
So the other night I threw back a few and went to work...drinking yields the same result: busted bracket.
Rather than give you loyal readers a breakdown  of the games; you get my expert analysis of the games that ruined my bracket... the how and the why so far...

Vanderbilt vs. Murray St.
my pick: Vandy
winner: Murray State
-I picked Vanderbilt to win because of Cornelius Vanderbilt's unbeatable reputation as a robber baron. Vanderbilt completely monopolized the transportation industry in the industrial age of America. Fun fact: He ran over weaker competition with a sweet cross over move and reverse lay up.
-Where I went wrong: There is actually a strong anti-trust movement in America and it is illegal to own a monopoly. so naturally the mom and pop taxi company (Murray State) wins. With help of Teddy Roosevelt. (Or Taft)

BYU vs.Florida
my pick: Florida
winner: BYU
- I picked Florida because of the past reputation of Billy Donovan's tough NCAA teams of 2006 and 2007. apparently recruiting has fallen off since then. Fun Fact: Florida was once a Spanish colony with no Mormons in it.
-Where I went wrong: Since Jospeh Smith found the seer stones in Pennsylvania in 1827, Mormonism has taken off like a California wild fire. These stormin' mormons invaded Florida like General Andrew Jackson invaded Florida during the 1800s; well not the same way. Mormons tend to knock on your door and share the good book with you. jackson prefers to...not share anything and put you on the Trail of Tears. BYU wins with modern Jacksonian techniques.


St. Marys vs. Richmond
my pick: Richmond
winner: St. Mary's
-I picked Richmond because it was the seat of the Confederate States of America. It was the birthplace the famous General George Pickett who knew exactly how to lead a charge in the greatest and deadliest war on American soil.
-Where I went wrong: St. Mary was the mother of Jesus. Never bet against J.C. I think its a sin. Also George Pickett's Charge resulted in the annihilation of an entire brigade and turned the tide against the Confederates in the Civil War. St. Mary's continues their matronly quest for a championship. Richmond goes back across the Potomac to complain for another 100 years about how " The South Will Rise Again..." right..


Notre Dame vs. Old Dominion
my pick: Notre Dame
winner: Old Dominion
- I went with Notre Dame because of Rudy; and yesterday was a day full of Irish Pride! St. Patricks Day! The sun shines on every ginger on that day.
-Where I went wrong: It was the day after St. Patrick's Day. The fighting Irish look more like the blacked out hungover Irish...regardless The Irish apparently don't play football or basketball either and Rudy not only cant dunk, but apparently he graduated years ago; and Jimmy Clausen's limo was too busy driving him out of Indiana to help with the full court press.


...more to come