Bracket Busted...

Already one night into March Madness and my bracket is done. I never claimed to be a Bracket guru or idiot savant, but I always expect to do better than I do on the first night. The law of averages demands that I do better. Yet year in and out I try every different strategy to win and none work. I have done an upset bracket, a favorites bracket, mascot bracket (who would win in an actual fight), and random bracket. Nothing...
So the other night I threw back a few and went to work...drinking yields the same result: busted bracket.
Rather than give you loyal readers a breakdown  of the games; you get my expert analysis of the games that ruined my bracket... the how and the why so far...

Vanderbilt vs. Murray St.
my pick: Vandy
winner: Murray State
-I picked Vanderbilt to win because of Cornelius Vanderbilt's unbeatable reputation as a robber baron. Vanderbilt completely monopolized the transportation industry in the industrial age of America. Fun fact: He ran over weaker competition with a sweet cross over move and reverse lay up.
-Where I went wrong: There is actually a strong anti-trust movement in America and it is illegal to own a monopoly. so naturally the mom and pop taxi company (Murray State) wins. With help of Teddy Roosevelt. (Or Taft)

BYU vs.Florida
my pick: Florida
winner: BYU
- I picked Florida because of the past reputation of Billy Donovan's tough NCAA teams of 2006 and 2007. apparently recruiting has fallen off since then. Fun Fact: Florida was once a Spanish colony with no Mormons in it.
-Where I went wrong: Since Jospeh Smith found the seer stones in Pennsylvania in 1827, Mormonism has taken off like a California wild fire. These stormin' mormons invaded Florida like General Andrew Jackson invaded Florida during the 1800s; well not the same way. Mormons tend to knock on your door and share the good book with you. jackson prefers to...not share anything and put you on the Trail of Tears. BYU wins with modern Jacksonian techniques.


St. Marys vs. Richmond
my pick: Richmond
winner: St. Mary's
-I picked Richmond because it was the seat of the Confederate States of America. It was the birthplace the famous General George Pickett who knew exactly how to lead a charge in the greatest and deadliest war on American soil.
-Where I went wrong: St. Mary was the mother of Jesus. Never bet against J.C. I think its a sin. Also George Pickett's Charge resulted in the annihilation of an entire brigade and turned the tide against the Confederates in the Civil War. St. Mary's continues their matronly quest for a championship. Richmond goes back across the Potomac to complain for another 100 years about how " The South Will Rise Again..." right..


Notre Dame vs. Old Dominion
my pick: Notre Dame
winner: Old Dominion
- I went with Notre Dame because of Rudy; and yesterday was a day full of Irish Pride! St. Patricks Day! The sun shines on every ginger on that day.
-Where I went wrong: It was the day after St. Patrick's Day. The fighting Irish look more like the blacked out hungover Irish...regardless The Irish apparently don't play football or basketball either and Rudy not only cant dunk, but apparently he graduated years ago; and Jimmy Clausen's limo was too busy driving him out of Indiana to help with the full court press.


...more to come