(Big) Upsets Continue...A Lesson in Futility

T

First and Second round misfires continued for me all weekend. Once again I found new ways to screw up a bracket. Some of my picks were just misfires. I.e: Texas v. Wake Forest: I just have no faith in the ACC, but the seeds were too close so its not an upset. Same with picking UNLV over Northern Iowa. But some other picks left me scratching my head. Clearly someone in the NCAA world enjoys screwing with me. All number 1 seeds made it last year, this year who knows.
So heres the breakdown/analysis. (It helps if when you read my analysis you pronounce it ANAL- Lie-sis) You really get the feel for how the NCAA bent me over

GAME: 7 Clemson v. 10 Missouri
The Pick: Clemson
Winner: Missouri
My reason:  In a real Tiger on Tiger action of a game, I went with Oliver Purnell's raging team led by Trevor Booker. Like Booker T. himself (the wrestler) I expected the Tigers to put the midwest Tigers in a stranglehold and then give them a "People's elbow" to the throat; then move amicably to the 2nd round.
What Went Wrong: Booker T. Washington was eventually over taken by W.E.B. Dubois's rhetoric. More people liked W.E.B.'s message and here we see another Booker failing to deliver to the promised land. also Clemson's color choice "Purple"= pussyish. Real tigers are closer to Missouri's colors. When these two mascots met in the open plains of Africa the Yellow Tiger pounced on the Purple Tiger while he "presented." Brutal.

GAME: 3 Georgetown vs. 14 Ohio
the Pick: George-fucking-town.
Winner: Ohio.......what?!
My Reason: Dammit its Georgetown, they are a real team from a real conference. I dont even wanna make up an excuse here. You just win. That's what you do. Your from the goddam Big East. There is nothing humorous about this. You went to the Big East Championship. No offense Ohio, but the best team you played all year was Buffalo and then you lost to them the next time you played.
What Went Wrong: everything. There are holes in my goddam wall because of this game. You ruined my bracket G-Town. You and your overly pretentious students can go swimming with cinder-blocks in the Potomac for all I care. Yeas you are a high rated university, but stop importing asians and we will see who is the real college. Im so mad right now I need to take a break and calm down. Shit i had you Jagaloons going to the elite eight and you should have. JAG-A-LOONS! thats right dammit..I need a drink....

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2 hours later.
After watching Kansas lose to Northern Iowa I have decided the relevance of this particular post has lost meaning. Georgetown is the least of my hatred right now. Kansas you smarmy mother-f'ers how could you lose to Northern IOWA. Not IOWA or IOWA State!!!!! I quit. The most famous athletic Alumni of N. Iowa is Kurt Warner...mull that over. Let that marinate Bill Self while you and the Jay-off Hawks ride back to Lawrence to the James Naismith Hall!!!! Do you realize he founded basketball? Did it not occur to you that it would be an embarrassment for you to lose to the Northern Iowa grocery boys?!?! Who gives a shit what their mascot is at this point. You are an embarrassment..
Rant over
whew I need a few more drinks to let this marinate. Ill  be back with more ANALysis later this week. Cheers
-Matt